We’ve all received messages in our lifetimes which have been poorly communicated.
Messages sometimes written in a hurry & key terms missed making the information disjointed. Messages written in anger & the vocabulary poorly chosen inadvertently causing offence & sometimes banter messages which have tipped over into something else altogether.
In a world of constant images, we oddly rely heavily on the written word to communicate with each other. With less & less people picking up a telephone & making an actual phone call; text messages, WhatsApp, Messenger, Email, etc, etc hurtle around the ether connecting humans together.
However, despite our heavy reliance on the written word, it can have a negative impact.
Online bullying for example has been made easy as bullies hide behind keyboards. Disgruntled customers leaving negative feedback for businesses, rather than taking it up directly with them can damage reputations & of course, the ‘Keyboard Warriors’ hidden in the hundreds of thousands online forums who always know better than everyone else.
Therefore, with this in mind what kind of messages should we be careful of sending, especially in a workplace & or professional setting & what specific terms should we avoid?
The tired email
Hypothetical situation: It’s very late. You have gone home, fed the dog, children (if you have them) & yourself, maybe watched some TV & then you check your email, work & personal.
An email has been sent by a colleague after work hours asking for information to be ready for the next morning. It is out of work hours; you don’t have access to the relevant information & by this point you are tired.
Should you respond & if so, how?
Clearly there is a judgement call here, but whatever you do, it is always best to write a response, walk away from it for a couple of minutes, come back, re-read & if you are happy with the tone & the vocabulary, then & only then send it.
If it is a case that the information required is not time sensitive, one of the best ways to deal with this, is to write your response, go to bed, read it the next morning & in with your rested brain, make informed decisions about the content of the message.
Reprimand
Should you ever send a reprimand via email or message? Is the person on the receiving end expecting it? Should you be the only person to proofread it before you hit send?
These are very posing questions in the context of a reprimand & or a HR issue. Not knowing how a recipient could feel & how it could affect their mental wellbeing, especially if it is unexpected; could open you up to management scrutiny & even legal action by the recipient.
In the case of a reprimand & or HR issue, it is always best to seek guidance from a HR specialist & or the person in charge of HR. If you are that person, CC’ing the email to another member of the management & or leadership team ensures it is not only you who is aware of a difficult situation.
Banter/sexual harassment
Carefully crafted banter forms part of lifelong friendships & when & where appropriate, can help break down barriers in the workplace.
However, when does banter become bullying? sexual harassment.
Reminding ourselves that every email, message or text we send is always recoverable through IP addresses; having a conversation & or correspondence which involves any form of banter needs to be kept in check.
Angry
If a situation has arisen in or outside of a workplace/professional setting, should you ever send a message when you are angry?
Realistically the answer is no. When we are angry our perspective is not rational & this can come out in our language & vocabulary. If you find yourself in a situation where you feel the need to express yourself via message, email or text, try & stop yourself before you hit send & ask yourself “Should I send this & what could the outcome be?”
Grappling with rationality when you are caught in the red mist of anger is a tough ask, but it could save you from a situation escalating out of control rapidly.
Use of capitalised letters & incorrect punctuation
One of my personal pet peeves is when people insist on using CAPITAL LETTERS TO GET A POINT ACROSS! Not only is does it show a very poor grasp of English grammar, but it makes the email/message sound like the person is shouting at you. Very inappropriate.
Another pet peeve is overt use of slang & or abbreviations in an email. Text language in its infancy abbreviated words to letters & characters as each text could only be a certain amount of characters. Examples are LOL – laughing out loud, OMG – oh my god (or oh my gosh) IMO – in my opinion, BTW – by the way, etc, etc However, when you are writing an email & even a full message, the character allowance is limitless, so why would you not use the full scope of the English language?
My last peeve is overt use of exclamation marks. An exclamation mark is just that, an opportunity to communicate surprise, irony or a strong emotion/feeling. Therefore, why do I often receive communications from people who insist on using several to get a point across?
An example of an exclamation mark being used appropriately is ‘That’s fantastic!’ However, an example where it is not is ‘You know it!!!’ Similar to the use of capitalised letters, the overuse of an exclamation mark can sound like a person is linguistically shouting, but it also loses the exclamation in the context of the vocabulary.
These are only a couple of examples of messages & emails which can be taken out of context & escalate a situation unnecessarily so. Therefore, it is always a good ide to think once, think twice & then click send.
Written by Katy-Jane Mason for & on behalf of Virtually Smart Ltd
